Some days, I feel very different. I do have different views on things, vastly different, and I handle situations differently. Not always in the "right" way, or in a more mature way, but in a different way. I feel that my writing has matured, and that I'm much more committed to it. I feel that my scheduling has gotten better (through mistakes I have made and situations I've had to resolve, but all the same). I know I've become much more independent.
Other days, I feel exactly the same. I still go out every time I can get a crowd together (not to mention the drunk texts I still send out to everyone). I still get jealous easily, and jealousy leads to immaturity. "I'm sexier than he is, I'm smarter than he is, blah blah blah." It's getting old for me, I'm sure it's getting old for everyone else. But I still do it, drunk or sober.
Boys get me down easily, much easier than I should let them. The worst part is that they're never TRYING to get me down, or even thinking about me. They still care about me, still love me--as a friend. But I still get down, and it's absolutely ridiculous. No matter where I go, the memories are still there, and I can't seem to get over them. Three boys I've cared about, three boys that don't want anything to do with me further than friends, and I can't get over it.
Will I ever change out of this? Is it a maturity issue, or something more? Is it about love, or obsession, or simply not getting what I want?
Do we change, or do we stay the same until we get what we want?
1 comment:
Change.
It's what we do.
It's what we HAVE to do.
It can't be stopped and it can't be helped along.
It just is...
Don't fear it, accept it with open arms. You may be surprised with what it brings to you.
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